Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations

The sequel to “Getting to Yes” that tackles the harder problem: what do you do when the other side refuses to cooperate? William Ury provides a five-step breakthrough strategy for turning adversaries into negotiating partners, even when they are angry, entrenched, or deliberately obstructive.

Why This One

Getting Past No addresses the gap that many conflict resolution books leave open. Most frameworks assume both parties are willing to engage in good faith. Ury wrote this book for the situations where they are not. His five steps (go to the balcony, step to their side, reframe, build a golden bridge, use power to educate) form a practical sequence for de-escalating hostility and moving toward agreement.

The “go to the balcony” concept alone is worth the book. It means stepping back mentally from the heat of the moment, observing the situation from above, and choosing your response rather than reacting. Ury then teaches you to disarm the other side by stepping to their perspective, reframe their position to reveal the interests underneath, and make it easy for them to say yes.

What to Expect

A concise 208-page book that gets to the point fast. Ury writes with the clarity you would expect from a Harvard negotiation expert who has mediated international conflicts. The examples range from boardroom standoffs to hostage negotiations. This is the shortest book in the guide and the one you will reach for when you face a specific, immediate conflict with someone who is not playing nice.